Translation from German: Nalan Özkan Lecerf
The skin gets wrinkles. Faces wrinkle. And the hair is decorated with silver stripes. I’ve always found the older women of the South beautiful and impressive. They stand in front of their whitewashed houses in their black dresses. First you meet their strong gaze, and then you are enchanted by their charming vitality. Wild. Old. Most often you can tell by their facial expressions that there is a dragon. Wrinkles that no one is ashamed of. Twinkling eyes. A wart. Long white hair. The faces I like to look at and I’m fascinated by. Genuine facial expressions. The beauty and dignity of age. Due to all the media images it is sometimes not easy to accept my wrinkles that are my ’flaws’, put my own pictures in front of the pictures that represent the old, wrinkled and ugly, and enjoy aging. I don’t go when I am called to the arena to join a senseless, endless and sickening game against the visible signs of aging. This feels so good, because there is a lot of time left to travel and to organize the mess. I open the boxes where I keep my disappointments, carefully sort out the contents, and honorably bury whatever I keep in my house as litter. I’m shaking my life off like I’m beating the carpet. I forgive myself. I treat myself with respect. As it turned out, I’m getting old and I’m mortal. I’ve had losses, I’ve made mistakes. As I got older, I started taking more and more responsibility instead of delegating it. I travel a lot in my inner world, and I do it with pleasure. Knotting the ropes, staying connected with the universe, female ancestors, women’s networks, researching the universal plan and exploring my place in it, always searching for new ways, collecting and bringing together all my parts lost and unfamiliar to me… there are so many things to do there isn’t any time left for the unpleasant game in the arena.
One day when I will sit in front of my house as an old woman, I will give myself an honorable title for my unshakable wisdom. In my years of wisdom, when my inner journeys have become longer and deeper, as an experienced traveler and adventurer, I would like to return to well-preserved fires as I move confidently and fearlessly through my most difficult inner wilderness. The Goddess of the Stove, who is called the beautiful old woman in a red dress in China and bears her wrinkles as an honor, will inspire me. The inner worlds will expand more and more. Every piece of wealth, insight, confidence, wisdom, joy, laughter, story that I have acquired, for satisfaction – I love to accumulate – I will be decrease in matter so that I will gradually reduce the functions of my administrative mechanism. I’ll be sorting. Things that belong to me, that I want to keep close to me and that are unnecessary. Sitting by the stove I will go on long trips, learn the last secrets of feeding, transformation, healing. I will walk more often on familiar paths leading to the underworld. Perhaps I will bring a little more information about the future every time, like Freyja with the falcon cloak. I’m going to dance my way into tomorrow, into the opening spiral. I’ll listen to the wind of the spiral and fly away with it.